If the Sun can find sunglasses that fit it, why can’t I find some that fit my large melon head?
Dentist: do you smoke?
Me: why you Tryna light up?
seeing a hot guy walk by like
Reblogging for the sheer hilarity of the gif.
It would be a mistake not to
"Four score and one booty ago damn that’s a fine ass"
I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly
I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years
Damn those Terms and Conditions.
i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake
Your brain is a poop bomb and you are a zombie and you are naked with your butt on fire and your butt in a girls face and you are wearing diapers
walking in a crowded hallway like
When you blink faster than the shutter camera.
nah this is some paranormal activity shit someone please tell this child and his family to move out immediately